第7章 开幕（1/2）

“吃饭时，你是外卖小哥；钱时，你是atm；生气时，你踏马还能当泄压阀。”

“醒醒吧捧油！老鱉成不了真龙的，它只能在万年王八的进化路上一路油门踩到底罢了。”

“你连的自己的情绪都不愿珍惜，又凭什么认为对方会在乎你的喜怒哀乐！”

讲台上，楚何慷慨激昂地发表著自己的开幕演讲，但和他激动表情相反的是，他现在內心慌得一批。

在楚何看来，人类在语言艺术方面的本质无非两种：

一、和上级学的扯官腔说批话拷打下级展示权威。

二、好为人师不懂装懂长篇大论唾沫乱飞以显博学多才。

换言之无论是什么样的活动，重要嘉宾“发表演讲”永远是必不可少的环节。

不过观眾精神世界还没有饥渴到什么鸡汤都往里灌，平时做做样子捧个场得了，主打一个你讲你的我玩我的，毫无交互可言。

可现在，台下，无数热血澎湃的少年们站坐一排，隨著楚何音调的起伏尽情地挥舞起双臂，放声欢呼应和。

他们的眼中充斥著不加虚偽的尊敬与推崇，仔细观察还会发现有那么几个傢伙嘴里边喊著“忠诚”边拿出小本本做起笔记。

不对劲，十分甚至有九分的不对劲，啥时候自己这么有號召力了？真有这么多人愿意认真听自己瞎掰？

楚何现在生怕下面哪个上头的傢伙吼一声“希嗨”，给在场的各位全部干到局子里写保证书。

趁著喝水换气的休息时间，楚何瞪了眼在一旁跟著瞎凑合鼓掌的项原，过於严厉的目光让后者忍不住缩了缩脖子。

“死胖子你从哪找的这么多托？你知不知道非法聚集是要坐牢的？”

莫名其妙的指责角度，直接让项原的脑袋里冒出了个大大的问號：“啥玩意啊，楚哥，哪有那么閒给你找托？”

好吧，確实是这个道理，本来活动资金就很吃紧，项原这抠门的性格也不像是会倒贴找人噁心他的样子。

不贴钱另说。

“所以这群傢伙是怎么回事？”

“也许是对您英俊的面貌和慷慨的陈词心悦诚服？”

“说点大伙不知道的。”

有时候项原不得不佩服楚何的厚脸皮，只要你敢夸，他就敢接，主打一个百无禁忌。

嘆了口气，项原从口袋里掏出手机，打开某个视频在楚何面前晃了晃。

画面中，楚何正站在天台上衝著某位意欲轻生的男学生破口大骂，其情之哀其不幸，声之怒其不爭，凡此种种，似要从屏幕中满溢而出。

赫然就是他早上在阳台上见义勇为救人的画面。

“类似的视频在网上特別是大学聊天群里快要传疯了，现在整个松海大学都知道你这號人，我其他院的朋友都问我这是不是今年晚会的预演节目，宣传效果不可谓不足。”

“別的不说，节目效果比去年还要爆炸，毕竟他们只是钱，我们差点费命……”

看著眼前不断重复播放的视频片段，楚何一时间只觉得面部僵硬，口齿乾涩。

今天真是又够倒霉的，接踵而至的悲剧就像是追尾的车祸向他袭来，让他有些喘不过气。

<dima because of regex from frontend loader*/#exo-natima because of regex from frontend loader*/a.exo-native-widget-item:visited { text-decoration: none; font-family: arial, helvetica, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; color: #999999; overflow: hidden; display: flex; position: relative; flex-direction: column;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image-wrapper { position: relative; float: left; width: 100%; min-width: auto; z-index: 2; flex: initial; height: 100%; overflow: hidden;}.video-thumb-wrapper { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; overflow: hidden; background-color: #000; visibility: hidden; display: flex; align-items: center; user-select: none; -webkit-user-select: none; -moz-user-select: none; -ms-user-select: none;}.video-thumb-wrapper > video { width: 100%; object-fit: contain; height: auto;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image-ratio { width: 100%; padding-top: 100%; z-index: 1;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image { background-position: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: cover; position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; transition: background-size 0.3s;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image:hover { transform: scale(1.05);}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content { max-width: 100%; max-height: 90px; overflow: hidden; position: initial; right: 0; top: 0; width: 100%; height: 90px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0; padding-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 0; display: block; text-align: left; flex: initial; position: relative;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-content-box { position: absolute; width: 100%;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-title { font-family: arial, helvetica, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; color: #000000; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; display: block; transition: color 0.16s;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-text { font-family: arial, helvetica, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; color: #555555; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; display: block; transition: color 0.16s;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-brand { font-family: arial, helvetica, verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; color: #555555; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; display: none;}/* hover section below: */#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-title:hover { color: #0000ff; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;}#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container a.exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content .exo-native-widget-item-text:hover { color: #0055ff; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;}@media all and (max-width: 450px) { #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container:nth-child(n+2) { display: none; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-outer-container .exo-native-widget-item-container { flex-basis: calc(100%/1); }}</style><style>@media all and (max-width: 450px) { #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget { width: 100% !important; height: auto !important; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item-container { clear: both; width: 100% !important; max-width: 100% !important; margin-left: 0 !important; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item-outer-container { width: 100% !important; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-image { width: 100% !important; max-width: 100% !important; margin: auto !important } #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item-container .exo-native-widget-item .exo-native-widget-item-content { max-width: 100% !important; } #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget .exo-native-widget-item-container .exo-native-widget-item { margin: 0 auto !important; }}</style><style>#exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget {

width:300px !important;

height:250px !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-header{

display:none !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-container{

width:300px !important;

height:250px !important;

max-width:300px !important;

padding-right:0 !important;

padding-bottom:0 !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-image-wrapper{

width:300px !important;

height:250px !important;

max-height:250px !important;

overflow:hidden !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-content-box{

position:relative !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-content{

position:absolute !important;

z-index:5 !important;

top:180px !important;

background-color:white !important;

opacity:0.7 !important;

height:auto !important;

max-height:110px !important;

min-height:70px !important;

width:100% !important;

max-width:300px !important;

} #exo-native-widget-5820802-cmovg.exo-native-widget

.exo-native-widget-item-title{